The formal speeches ended at 9. The informal ones — the ones no one asked for, delivered at increasing volume between midnight and 2am — those are the ones people are still quoting in group chats six months later. There was one speech in particular, delivered poolside, that has been described by witnesses as "legally actionable," "kind of poetic," and "the reason I no longer attend weddings."

The person who gave the speech has since moved cities. The person the speech was about has not acknowledged it publicly, which — honestly? — says everything. Someone's fiancé heard it secondhand and canceled a brunch. That's the part no one talks about.