Okay so the group chat started with a single message at 11:47pm: "does anyone else need to talk about what just happened." Fifteen people typing at once. The husband — bless him — is in zero of these threads and has no idea.

She walked in during the CFO's toast. Mid-sentence. He lost his place, said "uh" three times, and someone's girlfriend filmed the whole thing on her phone. The clip is currently living on a private Instagram story that has been screenshotted approximately four hundred times. The CFO's wife was also there. We'll let you sit with that.