The Carpool Lane Has Never Seen This Much Traffic
How is it that this particular elementary school has a 47-minute average wait time in the pickup lane, but certain dads are showing up 55 minutes early? Every single day. Rain, sleet, whatever. The school secretary has started keeping a tally.
Her stepkids get picked up at 3:15. The unofficial fan club arrives at 2:20. The group chat renamed itself “school logistics” and absolutely nobody is talking about logistics. Slide 3 is where this gets genuinely embarrassing.
The PTA Chair Noticed. The PTA Chair Said Nothing.
There’s a woman who used to run every bake sale, every fundraiser, every parking lot volunteer shift like a military operation. And then the new stepmom showed up in October and suddenly the volunteer sign-up sheet is oversubscribed for the first time in school history.
The PTA chair posted in the parent Facebook group: “Reminder that school pickup volunteers should be focused on SAFETY.” Nobody liked it. Eight dads reacted with the heart emoji by accident and immediately un-reacted. The thread is still up.
